Late Night Blog

It may be half past midnight, but it's never too late (or early...) to blog.

Something that I realised recently really shocked me. I wanted to keep it to myself, but now I am ready to tell the world. Well... Rachel. *Waves* (I have just decided that I will make it my mission to somehow subtley mention Rachel in every blog I write, as she deserves it. :D)

Anyway, ready to be shocked?

I like exams.

Now don't suddenly hate me, let me explain.

I HATE exams, with a passion.

And no it's not just my multiple personalities arguing again.

I hate the whole thing of having to try to memorise the basics of things you really don't understand just to get you past an exam, and so you will simply forget everything afterwards. I just feel like I'm wasting my life at the moment, trying to remember all of this rubbish that I'm not really interested in.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to be ignorant. I'd quite like to be able to understand it all (I am particularly referring to subjects like Maths and Science here) as I understand their importance to the world around us. What I hate is that I don't understand any of it, and know that I don't want to pursue it in the future as a result, meaning that I find trying to learn these basic facts that I will forget immediately afterwards completely pointless.

However, if we want to get anywhere in this world these days, we have to have good qualifications. So I have to memorise these basic facts.

I HATE revision, with all my heart.

Why I like exams is this:
Before an exam, be it a few weeks before or a few seconds before, standing just outside the hall, I always feel guilty if I'm not revising. Even if I am revising, I feel that I'm not revising well enough. It's like a constant buzzing in the back of my head... "You should be revising... You should know this... You will fail."

But as soon as I cross the threshold of the exam hall, I know that I can't do anymore. That's it. I can only go with what I know.

My family constantly tell me that I can only do my best, but it's not until I'm in the exam that I feel I can try to do my best. At any other time, I always feel like I have to do better, work harder. But sat there, I can only use the knowledge that I have. Sure, I could have worked harder beforehand, but sat there, pen in hand, silence surrounding me- all I can do is my best at that moment.

Then there's the time afterwards... when you realise how many mistakes you made... how many stupid things you got wrong... And then The Results. Afterwards can almost be as bad as Before.

So whilst During is never pleasant, it is actually the best time. Or is that just me...?